Hosed

by bauer on March 10, 2013

My mom reminded me of a little anecdote that I think is worth recording. We lived in a house on the property of the United Church of Christ in Warminster PA in the early 60s. My parents were basically living there in return for taking care of the church so I guess we were relatively poor. I thought I lived on a palatial estate, with acres of land and a full array of tricycles at my disposal in the church’s garage. Paradise for a 5 year old. Anyway, we had two dogs, Hansy and Shamrock, a Dachshund and an Irish Setter respectively. A bag of hammers has a higher IQ than an Irish Setter but they are complete sweethearts. Shamrock and I were mirthfully playing in the garden warmed by the spring sun and my mom was watering the plants. At some point she got the somewhat bad idea to turn the hose on Shamrock for “fun”. I think I started crying and protesting that she was scaring Shamrock. Mom then had the extremely bad idea of turning the hose on me. I ran to Shamrock and we both huddled, wining and shaking, comforting each other for getting damp. My mom laughed and went back into the house.



After drying off Shammy and myself, my thoughts turned to settling the score. I went back up to the porch and turned the hose on. I did that little trick my dad showed my how to crimp the hose so it would stop flowing. I then dragged the hose in through the kitchen door, up the stairs to the second floor, figured out how to loop the hose over the banister, walked down the hall to my parents’ bedroom. For some reason, the door was closed but I turned the knob quietly then kicked the door open. My mom and dad were lying in bed when they both turned to me, startled with eyes agape. I let the hose snap open, did that other little trick my dad showed me, how to put your thumb over the opening of the hose so a more powerful stream would be released and which I could focus the stream. I blasted my mom who was on the left side of the bed. My dad rolled over to try to protect her and I soaked them both. Dad, who was butt naked for some reason, scrambled out of the bed and came staggering towards me. I hit him full in the chest and then sprayed his feet. This had the desired effect; he slipped and splayed flat out on the floor. I really had nothing against him but I thought it best to blast him full on to keep him writhing on the floor. Suddenly, the water stopped. I dropped the hose and fled the house. Not exactly sure what happened next but I am pretty sure they were alternately screaming and laughing too hard to do anything about it.



It wasn’t until I was a little older that I figured out what my parents were doing naked in bed in the middle of the afternoon. I didn’t find out until much later that my brother had watched me do all of this and actually followed me upstairs to watch what I did. It was he who ran back downstairs and turned the hose off.



I leave it as an exercise to the reader to draw any lessons here. B)

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Ban Big Clips II

by bauer on January 17, 2013

BanBigClips is live. I’ve put put up a simple page that I hope will grow. This is not a simple call to make high-capacity magazines illegal - Although that is its conclusion. I present several levels of “bannishment”. I think you as an individual should banish high-capacity magazines from your arsenal. You will increase your skills by not needing to use them. I think you should advocate the same thing to others. If anything they should be only used as part of a well regulates militia. At the end of the day, there is no justification for these clips and they should be banned legally as a simple step to do what is the right and balanced.

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Internet Freedom

by bauer on January 15, 2013

In preparation for Internet Freedom Day, I thought I’d take a moment to reflect on how the Internet gives me voice. First and foremost, I’ve been taking the stewardship of Internet.ORG seriously over that last year. I’ve dedicated the site to news, information and dialogue about Internet freedom, censorship, and activism. I’m particularly proud of organizing the site around the countries around the world. Through the site, you can see how Internet freedom, censorship, and activism are being covered in each country. I feel like I can speak through the posts and the site to help bring the very topic of Internet Freedom to the global stage - even if from a very small site.

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Well Regulated Militia

by bauer on January 10, 2013

I’m leaning towards the thinking that assault weapons and high capacity magazines should only be available to people in a WELL REGULATED MILITIA. Like it says in the SECOND amendment, regardless how Justice Scalia wants to parse a comma. I think it’s clear that this is the intent of that amendment so if you want an assault weapon then fine, show proficiency in close order drills. At this point, I have no real idea how this would work but I have a feeling that such a militia, even if self-regulated, might have been able to more properly manage a woman who kept an arsenal at home with a troubled son. Make her have to practice regularly in defending a fixed position and maybe securing her weapons in a local armory. Like I said, I don’t quite know how this would work. Making the weapons and magazines outright illegal is still pretty compelling. There are those that I know and trust and I’d certainly prefer if they had more oversight over those that I don’t know and don’t trust.

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Ban Big Clips

by bauer on January 10, 2013

I’ve secured the domain name banbigclips.com and am going to start cultivating it. At this point, I believe the very least that can and should be done about gun violence is to ban big clips - if you can’t use it to shoot ducks, you can’t use it. My thinking is still evolving on all of this, though. I think I have some flexibility on what “ban” means. Certainly, I currently think that making them illegal is the strongest thing to do. I definitely think an individual should personally consider banning their use as a choice - if you got the skills, you don’t need the frills. I am starting to think that maybe they should be banned from personal use and only available for a WELL REGULATED MILITIA. More on that in a bit.

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Teachers Teach Police Police

by bauer on December 18, 2012

I’ve found the comments of Congressman Louis Gohmert similar to that of a little girl. His wishing that the principal had an M-4 locked up in her office reminds me of a little girl’s fantasy, thinking that maybe a magical horsy will come down and sweep her away. Take the time to work through what it would take for the principal to do what the Congressman fantasizes. Calculate the time it would take to the principal to locate the keys to cabinet, unlock it, access the weapon, locate the ammunition, load the weapon, localize the threat, determine an approach to the threat, approach the threat, evaluate the target, and engage the target - in seconds and without harming bystanders. Suffice it to say, thinking that a school principal could accomplish this after morning announcements demonstrates just what kind of combat leadership a defense attorney in the Judge Advocate General’s Corps could provide. At the end of the day, I don’t want our teachers trained to defend an assault on a fixed position as much as I don’t want our SWAT team members schooled in nursery rhymes for 5 year olds. Teachers should teach and police should police. I leave it to you to think what this particular ex-lawyer should do.

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Render Gun Accounting

by bauer on December 15, 2012

The unspeakably horrifying events in #SandyHook gave me pause to render an accounting of my guns. I’ve owned a shotgun since 1999, that I bought for Y2K since it seemed the thing to do at the time and I was living in Virginia so buying one was easy. After discovering paintball and playing up to a certain level of competency, I decided to buy a couple more guns. Learned how to use responsibly but then kind of forgot them. Guess it’s an American thing to have them “laying around” (albeit properly locked). Anyway, after what’s happened I felt I needed to ask myself why do I have any guns? What was the purpose of each one of them? I found myself not being able to account for the shotgun and a handgun. I called the Denver police today and they graciously came over and took the shotgun away for disposal. Selling the handgun on Monday and donating the proceeds. I haven’t decided what to do with the others but I’m seriously considering not having any. What I simply ask is if you have guns that you honestly render an accounting for each or for that matter all of them. I’m not answering for you, I’m just asking that you answer for yourself. #RenderGunAccounting.

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Internet.Org

by bauer on September 17, 2012

I call myself the steward of this domain. I’ve maintained its registration for almost 20 years. Recently, I’ve promoted it as a site about Internet Freedom, Openness, and Activism. Today, I’ve changed it to a resource for news, information, and dialogue about Internet Freedom, Openness, and Activism. Recent events have made me wish there was some higher collective that might do this site better justice than I. Probably just symbolic thinking but still it seems to be a symbol worthy of better stewardship.

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Romney Doesn’t Know Small Business

by bauer on August 11, 2012

I need to get this off my chest. Trust me. I’m sensitive that potential clients of mine aren’t going to share my political views. I’ve been careful over the years to keep things somewhat neutral. I’ve just decided that at this point in my life, it’s not all going to matter that much anymore. :) As if anyone really reads what I write anyway.

Mitt Romney doesn’t know a thing about small business. He’s lying when he says he knows what it’s like to worry about not paying your mortgage. He never had to worry about a thing as an “entrepreneur”, not that doing the kind of venture capital work he did is all that hard - when you start with a boat load of money all you need is a spreadsheet. Well, maybe not, but the point is, he really doesn’t know what it’s like to be a start-up, particularly one in the computer industry.

And to the point, this Kevin Kerwin slob (kevinthegeek), doesn’t know what it’s like to be a start-up in the computer industry either (let’s just say computer repair is like Romney’s of venture capitalism, where all you need is a little money and a screwdriver). Caught part of his rant on Fox about Obama didn’t “build his business”, this administration hasn’t done anything to help his company, the devolving of the United States into Nazi Germany, you know - the basics. Of course, all of which is to be expected from someone who can’t parse pronouns.

Anyway, got me to thinking about what I think about all of the rhetoric about small start-ups in America today, what’s happened lately, and what the future might portend. I’ve got three main points.

  • I’ve had penalties waived for being late on a 941 payment because of cash-flow issues. That’s a real, tangible benefit my company has received from policies set by this administration.
  • The JOBS Act (Jump Start Our Business) certainly promises new funding opportunities. Still trying to figure out how but again, tangible benefits during this administration.
  • Taxing the “jobs creators” will kill growth. As if a difference of 3% would determine whether I would hire another person or not. Not that I’m actually in that category but if I was there’s no way that’s going to drive my hiring decisions. A complete load of garbage being foisted upon people who don’t know better by people who do but are well-paid by USA, Inc. to manipulate.

So, like I said, Romney doesn’t know jack about small business. Starting out with a lot of money and making more only proves you’re not mental.

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Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter Sucks

by bauer on June 10, 2012

I am sorry, but I can’t remain silent on this. I haven’t seen this movie. I had steadfastly believe that anyone who criticizes a movie should see it first. But, frankly, the very title of this movie, along with its trailers, recuses this movie from that constraint. The projection of our greatest President (capitalization intended) to a caricature for our contemporary culture is contemptible.

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